It’s like the biggest let-down ever: So you’re sitting in the food court of the mall, got some nice sweet&sour chicken, chicken fried rice and guy ding in front of you, all ready to take a bite into a lovely piece of broccoli and HOOOOOOOLLD UP! What is this? It’s not broccoli, IT’S CELERY!
The world comes to an end.
Celery has to be the most disgusting tasting food-from-the-earth. It literally tastes like dirt. Watery dirt... mud? Although celery only has about 19 calories per serving, and the average human burns more calories chewing and swallowing the celery, so it makes for a great healthy snack, it tastes so horrible that I probably wouldn’t accept money to willingly eat the stuff. Even if you disguised it with cheesewhiz or peanut butter or something – no dice.
So when the tragic event of mistaking broccoli for celery happened, my best friend, Emily, was there providing me with perhaps the best simile I’ve ever heard: “Mistaking celery for broccoli is just as bad as mistaking raisins for chocolate chips”. Same concept, right? About to bite into what you think is a delicious oatmeal-chocolate chip cookie, but wait! Why are these chocolate chips squishy? Surprise, you've got raisins. Have a nice life.
Thank you, Emily, for being an inspiration! (:
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